I started this blog in May 2016 as a way to process grief after my first daughter Poppy was stillborn. A little over a year ago, I shifted focus to include my experience of pregnancy after loss. Today, I’m blessed with a healthy baby girl…

I just finished reading “Guess How Much I Love You” to Moxie twice in a row. She’s snoring softly now, face buried into my boob. She’s all clean after a bath and smelling like a sweet baby girl. Tears are drying on my cheeks.

It’s 2:23AM. Eli is rocking Moxie next to me in bed with a bottle of warm milk and sweet encouraging words to soothe her. I’m attached to my breast pump in a somewhat desperate attempt to continue producing breast milk for our baby.

Last night while nursing my newborn daughter Moxie, I paused to acknowledge my firstborn, Poppy, stillborn 2 years ago. My muse and guide, Poppy inspires me every day.

Moxie Phoenix Muir entered this world safely at 11:52am on Monday, October 9, 2017. After only 13 hours of labor, I was holding her on my chest, completely filled with the bliss of new motherhood.

It’s the night before we induce labor. Two mornings ago I woke up with a sore left rib cage. I did some gentle stretches and a little prenatal yoga I learned earlier in my pregnancy…

All stories must come to an end.

My story of grief and loss is coming to an end. What two years ago felt like an impossible task, healing from my firstborn’s unexpected death, is in its final chapter.

We are having a warm, sunny summer in the Pacific Northwest and I’m enjoying my third trimester with Baby Girl #2. I saw Wiggles, her nickname, on ultrasound this morning.

Today is a special day for two reasons. Last year on May 31st I made my first blog post. Until that point, I shared some of my grief process on Facebook and I journaled privately on a daily basis. However, blogging publicly changed everything for me.

Any woman who’s ever been pregnant can rattle off several questions frequently heard throughout pregnancy. These are my top 4…

The last time I posted publicly, I wrote an open love letter to my husband Eli. Writing that letter, our love story, was rewarding and humbling…

You asked me to marry you on a Sunday. The sun’s rays bounced off the rolling waves of the Pacific Ocean, the sky awash in pastel yellow, blue and pink. The very next day we found out I was pregnant.

A few weeks ago, I wrote a 5-minute speech proposal for Ignite Seattle. Now in its 10th year, Ignite is a community gathering of extra-ordinary people presenting interesting ideas and passionate stories to a live audience at Town Hall.

There’s a big blue house directly across the street from us where a happy family of 4 lives together. During our pregnancy with Poppy, Eli and I watched with excited longing as the mother and father duo navigated life with their one year old son.

Body heavy. Bright red. Feeling empty. Feeling crampy. Not pregnant, again.

Eli and I thought we did it this month. Is there something wrong?